King of the Caricatures

So last week I got home from work and my roommate was watching "King of the Nerds".  I have never watched the show personally and what I saw did not grab me.  In fact, something one of the contestants said during the episode struck me, "Do we really want him to be the representative of nerd culture?"  I stood there in the living room emphatically thinking "No!  I don't want anyone of you to be the representative of my culture!"

A bit of a preface should come with this article I suppose, I'm a nerd, pretty big one at that.  I play video games, read comics, have a wide knowledge of both the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings universes, play Dungeons & Dragons, etc.  Hell, I have had an hours long conversation on what proper procedure should be when the zombie apocalypse happens. So yeah... pretty big nerd, geek, dweeb, whatever pejorative term you elect to use.

But before I get inundated with pocket protectors and tick rim glasses (I already have a pair thanks) this Christmas, I also exercise at least 4 times a week, have a thriving social circle, and am capable of going in settings where I know very few people and still having a great time.  I also love acting, playing music, and writing things that are not fan-fic (I went through a phase admittedly).

I suppose the real point I want to reiterate is that while shows like "King of the Nerds" and "Big Bang Theory" portray nerds through the lens of early nineties prime time television, the notion that those old stereotypes are still the case is archaic at best and more likely just downright insulting.  I am the best representation of a nerd in our modern culture.  I'm not saying that in the sense that I am the King of the Nerds, I'm saying if you were to take a census of all nerds everywhere...

Okay, one last point before I wrap up here, when I say all nerds, I am referring to that dreaded term "real nerds". If you really like Star Wars, that doesn't make you a nerd (when adjusted for inflation that movie made over a billion dollars when it was in theaters the first time, it doesn't exactly have cult status).  If you do, however, know who Grand Admiral Thrawn is, the circumstances surrounding Chewbacca's death, or the names of Han and Leia's children, then yes congratulations you are a nerd.  The same applies for really anything, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek; watching any of those things makes you a human, knowing more about the history of those worlds than you can safely proclaim to know about our own world lumps you in with my people (unless you are also a history nerd, in which case...well I don't have another analogy.  Let's just say if your a history nerd you get a pass and can be called a nerd at will.)

So, back to my original final point, if you were to take a census of nerds everywhere.... someone kind of like me would be the average.  Nerds are no longer socially awkward man-children in capable of understanding the appeal of dating, social gatherings, or when to "shut the hell up about Star Wars already Eric nobody cares!" (Hey, I can't say I was always this well adjusted).  Most of my co-workers that I have begun working with play DnD, and none of them are incapable of carrying on a conversation about something other than nerd stuff.

And I think some of this may come from age, and a inherit lack of caring about how people will judge me based on my hobbies.  I play Dungeons & Dragons every other week because it is a consistent way for me and those friends to get together and hang out.  Yes, we really enjoy playing the game and sharing in the story, but it is for us truly no different than if we all just sat around talking for 3 hours, it is social time.  I know too much about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings because those initial stories were amazing when I first experienced them, and once I became interested in writing and building worlds within my story those two universes were the best examples I could dive into and learn more about.  My point is, when you are an awkward kid getting picked on in middle school (Hello! I'm Eric.  Do you like the Rebel Alliance sticker on my Tapper Keeper?), those things are escapes from the real world.  You hide in the stories and the worlds because they lack the judgement that the real world seems all too ready to dish out.  It is sad, tragic, and most importantly of all: temporary.  Now I am a grown-ass man who knows what I like and will proudly tell you about it if you want (Hello! I'm Eric.  Do you like the Rebel Alliance sticker on my bumper?), or I will shut up about it and discuss fitness, music, acting, literature, pop culture, or anything else because I am capable of that, even if you are female.

So yeah, when you watch those programs just remember that you are watching outdated caricatures of a pretty large group of people that exist in the world today.  Anyways, that's it for my nerd rant.  Next time I think I may have to write about fitness or something to offset this wild imbalance I'm feeling.

Check Yes or No...

I got home tonight after rehearsal and my roommate was watching the movie "Yes Man" on tv.  That took me back.  Honestly I have never sat down and watched the movie, but I did read the book (insert pretentious adjustment of my glasses).  When I read the book I was immediately inspired.  This book literally caused my to laugh out loud in my house by myself.  The book isn't a work of fiction, it is a memoir.  The author Danny Wallace actually spent about 3 months of his life only saying yes.  His story took him to far off places, wild nights, and reconnecting with old friends.  But more importantly, his take away was that he had reconnected with life.

I decided after reading it that I could pull it off for at least a month, surely.  It seemed simple, yet daunting at the same time.  This was a few years ago, and I only informed one person so they could keep me honest in my endeavor.  I made it just over a month, but in a way it never stopped.  Something happens to you when you just say yes to people.  I found myself going to concerts, spending time with people that I had never really had the desire to, helping random acquaintances move, all kinds of random things.  But more so, it felt good.  Even the really crappy things that weren't fun, in my head I was constantly saying "I would never had gained this experience before."  To this day, that month I spent saying yes changed me fundamentally.

I get asked quite a bit how I am so positive.  I rarely vent, or rant, or gripe.  I take life in stride and accept whatever it has to offer.  I think it was because I learned by saying Yes to life, I was saying Yes to contentment.  Am I always happy? No  But I am content with my life.  I do my best to see things from other people's needs and attend to my own.  I do say no again, because doing everything empties your wallet fairly quickly.  But, while I do say no occasionally to other's request, I have stopped saying no to my own requests.  When I think to myself, "Can I do this" "Do I deserve this" "Am I capable", the answer is now yes when it once was no.  So that would be my challenge, if you are brave enough, say yes for a month, it is a formative exercise that is enriching.  But if you don't want to say yes to everyone, at least say yes to yourself.  It will allow you to be happier, more productive, and makes life a lot more fun.