As someone who has undergone a fair amount of changes throughout my 20's, this quote struck me with the brilliance of it's simplicity. When I initially tried to overcome my inherit shyness and timidness when dealing with people, I can recall one person who gave their undivided support to my endeavor. And when it came to my weight loss, it seemed to be a constant barrage of doubt and second-guessing coming from those around me, "You'll gain it back," "Are you sure this is healthy," or "Eh, I could do that too, I'm just not that self-conscious." The amount of push back you get from people around you when you elect to make a big change in your life makes it seem as those you've just declared, "Hey guys, just got done with Breaking Bad. They made so much money! I think I'm going to try that!" The looks of distrust, betrayal, and astonish are the exact same as, "I just found this great new way to lose weight that really works for me and I'm excited to stick with it." The only instance where the former reaction should come with the latter statement is if your preferred diet is in fact, meth.
Just like the lobster, when we elect to shed our old skin we are vulnerable and exposed to others, especially those who are close to us. There is a certain sense of abandonment. When you strive to fix something about yourself, you are eliminating something that once gave you common ground with those around you. Super shy and afraid to talk to girls? You and your friends and gripe about getting "friend zoned" (which is asinine) and how girls are soooo stuck up. But once you make the choice to overcome that, and accept that women are (Prepare yourselves men, I'm about to drop a bombshell) in fact people too, those friends no longer have a common ground with you. Out of shape, overweight, and content? You and your friends can talk about the superficiality of the world, why can't people accept you for you, and discuss all the plans you make to actually lose weight this year. But once you actually take the first steps to applying a plan to lose weight, you become a traitor. You have succumb to the ways of the superficial, buy into their mindgames, etc. etc. etc. It's all drivel. Well I mean, yes, the world is crazy superficial when it comes to weight, but you know what else is linked to a reasonable weight? Your health! Your well being! Not just what people think of you.
And I have also been on the other side, when people close to me have made big changes in their lives, which is why I speak with confidence on why people are really kind of jerks when you decide to become better, because I have in fact, been that jerk. I have said "You'll be back," to those who were trying to move up in the world. Because what it does to you as a person is inform you, "They are doing it and you are not...how does that make you feel?" It goes back to what I talked about before... perspective. How we frame our own narrative informs how we view others, who are "supporting characters" in our story. The good looking fit jock is a bully, the pretty girl that ignores you is stuck up. Where as to the jock you may be the sad underdog he wishes he could help, or to the girl your are kind of a creepy nerd or clingy friend. Trying to view yourself as a supporting character is someone else's story can be a very illuminating exercise, because it can show you how other potentially view you. That's why I made the changes I did, because I realized that I was not a positive character in other people's stories. But now? I can safely say that I have made myself someone who is compelling, interesting, well-rounded, and supportive. So, shed your shell, grow, be greater than you once were. I can promise you, the fear, the vulnerability, the stress, it is all worth it.
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